Stressée.

I'm coming to a point in my artistic career in which I just feel uselessly untalented. I'm letting the fact that so many artists are better than me get to me, and I just wish I could be better than them. I feel like I'm not improving anymore. In fact, lately it feels like I'm getting worse. I'm never satisfied with what I draw, it never looks the way I want it to.

I don't know. It's just making me feel lame right now.

That's all.
Sloane

chada chada chaah

song on the brain: diplomat's son - vampire weekend

It's been a long time. I suppose I really just haven't had a lot to say lately. And honestly, now there's not much I can say.

I turned 16 on Friday. I don't feel any different. I usually forget that I'm even any older than I was a week ago. But the exciting thing is that I should be starting drivers ed next month, if all goes according to plan and after that I can APPLY TO GET A JOB. (I don't want to juggle drivers ed, school, friends, and work.)
I'll finally have money to get things for myself. Really, that thought is more relieving than exciting. I won't have to ask my broke parents to buy me things any more. I was starting to feel sick about it.

On another note, there's nothing else to say. I'm doing well in school, life is average. I'm waiting for something exciting to happen to me. Life feels pathetically plain these days. (Though I did have an awesome time Friday night with everyone.)

I miss Maddie and Josie. My birthday was sad without them, as is school and weekends and French class. Me and Zach are starting on a stellar new video project, but it's really strange for it to just be the two of us now.


Right now I just feel like dancing in the rain and listening to music.
too bad it's not raining.

♥sloane

what can I say about the future?

I've had basically one solid thought on my mind lately.
My future. And not just what am I going to do with myself, but all the little details between this and that. Near future, far away future, things that I really shouldn't be worrying about right now, etc etc.

In the closer to being present future ; drivers ed and getting a job.
Dad says me starting driver's ed depends on my grades at the end of the quarter (so of course, I'm determined to actually do well.) I've been doing my homework, doing well on tests, (trying to) stay awake in class. Everything that I should be doing. However, being sick is really taking its toll on my learning capabilities right now. Waking up is a total drag. Showering is a drag. And then getting on my bike is the best feeling in the world. Getting off my bike and chaining it up is a drag. Walking up the stairs to my class is a drag. Saying "Good Morning" to Mrs. Baird is the beginning of my awake and pleasant morning. I love my zero hour math class. I love that I understand the material, I love that I have a friend to talk to in that class. I love that my teacher doesn't look like an obese shark. I love everything about being there, except for the being there part. I am SO TIRED in the mornings. All through middle school I could get up at 5 AM no problem, but since last year, I've actually started sleeping like a normal teenager. How utterly inconvenient is that?
Honestly, it's not even the sleep that I love. I get some kind of physical high off of waking up, rolling over and going back to sleep. I don't really know how to explain it, but it really does just feel... good. Really good. Sleeping in doesn't give me the same feeling as waking up, turning off my alarm and curling back up under the covers. I don't even know.
And getting a job. (Woah, abrupt subject change?) Where am I going to work? How am I going to work? Who the hell would want to hire me? Will I even have enough time in the day to offer to a workplace? Will I have any free time at all once I get a job? Will I have to work weekends?
The trauma of growing up is seeping through my skull and deeprooting itself into my mind. Future-panic is all I can think about these days. Thinking about how I need money, all the things I want to save up for, saving up for an exchange program, how much does an exchange program even cost, will my parents help pay for an exchange program, etc etc.
Everything that may happen in the next two years or so is freaking me out. And it's so weird because I never really put any thought into my future before now. I had vague ideas about where I'd like to live and what color I'd like my house to be, perhaps what I will name my dog. But schools, jobs, income... none of it really mattered to me.
And I know I really shouldn't be freaking out that much... Because when worst comes to worst, I can pull out a student loan and pay that off for the rest of my life. (Don't most people have to do that anyway?)

Anyway... I want to sleep. More of Sloane's Future-panic later.
Trust me, this isn't even half of it.


♥sloane

imagination is for turbo nerds.

song on the brain: the 15 second Adventure Time theme song.

Life has been uneventful overall. That's why I haven't posted in a while.

I've done nothing but play video games and watch Adventure Time. Like honestly? That is my life as of late. And I'm pretty much loving it. I'm finally playing FFXII. And I think if I were a lesbian, I would probably marry Fran. Because she's a babe. And she's the only female from a video game who is neither a mary sue, nor a total douche. It is my dream. Thankyou, Josie, for blessing me with her presence.

Aside from that... yeah. Nothing. Classes have been class-like. I still haven't gotten to doing anything of any real importance. We beat the shit out of Hanford at the last game, 38 to 0. It was beautiful.
(I promise I'll actually take videos at the next game. Someone just needs to remind me.) However, horrific news followed the terrific win. PEOPLE WERE STEPPING ON BABY DUCKS AND QUAILS. How incredibly sad is that? I mean, really, who doesn't notice a bunch of baby birds all over the ground? It's so wrong and sad.

Oh, and someone brought an empty gun to school today and we were on critical lockdown for 5 minutes at lunch. Hailey thought we were all goners. It was lame.

So yeah, there really isn't anything else for me to say right now.
♥Sloane

For me to poop on.

There's not really anything to report today except that I'm convinced that Junior year is going to be the best school year I've had since 4th grade, despite the authorities' many attempts to lower the standards of the entire RHS system. Classes are great (with the exception of Geography) and I'm a lot more enthusiastic about being at school. I also feel like I've been generally friendlier. Though swearing uncontrollably is a hard habit to kick, I have at least refrained from being rude to people as far as I'm aware. 


Anyway, the real point of this post is composed of two things.


One, I figure that whether Josie has the French books or not, I could at least give her the lessons we're learning, since I know she's having trouble with the language. Today we learned the properties of savoir and connaître, both of which mean "to know" but with restrictions. We also learned in which cases you use à, au, aux, or en when referring to places.


I'm just going to type up my notes from today here, perhaps with some extra notes to advance understanding.


SAVOIR - To know a skill or a fact. 
je sais
tu said
il/elle sait
nous savons
vous savez
ils/elles savent. (Savent is pronounced "SAHV." Do not under any circumstances pronounce the ent. But you should know that by now.)


passé composée: avoir su
[J'ai su
Tu as su
Ile/elle a su
Nous avons su
Vous avez su
Ils/Elles ont su]

Savoir is only used when talking about a skill or a fact. Savoir doesn't refer to people or places.


Pour example:
"Je sais faire de l'equitation." I know how to ride horses.
"Est-ce que tu sais que j'aime bien les escargots?" Did you know that I really like snails?


Also, you'll know to use savoir if the verb is followed by "que."


Pour example:
"Ils savent que elle est tard tous les jours." They know that she's late every day.


CONNAITRE - to know, to be familiar with (people, places, laguages)
je connais
tu connais
il/elle connait
nous connaissons
vous connaissez
ils/elles connaissent (Pronounced COHNESS)


passé composée: avoir connu (translating to "to have met for the first time")
[J'ai connu
Tu as connu
Il/elle a connu
Nous avons connu
Vous avez connu
Ils/ells ont connu] 


Connaître is used when referring to a person, place, or language directly. 
To know someone, to be familiar with or to know your way around a place or to be familiar with or to know a language.


Pour example:
"Tu connais Saline?" Do you know Saline?
"Il connais bien Paris." He knows Paris well. (He knows his way around Paris well.)
"Nous connaissons l'espagnol." We know Spanish.




A, EN, AU, ET AUX.


Pour une ville ou un isle (singulair), c'est "à," (to, at, in)
Example: "Je vais à Paris." I'm going to Paris.


Pour une pays (country. pronounced pay-yee) masculine, c'est "au". (to, at, in)
Example: "J'habite au Denmark." I live in Denmark.
Pour une pays feminine, c'est "en." (to, at, in)
Example: "Je veux aller en Biélorussie." I want to go to Belarus.

The rule for defining a masculine country from a feminine is simply whether or not it ends with an e. And obviously, masculine does not, while feminine does.

That was all we learned for today, but I'll make sure to update you regularly on the learning process of the class.

The second part was this.
Part 1 Part 2
Even as an anime nerd, I think we can all appreciate the humor and truth to this. It's hilarious, you have to watch it. Perhaps put headphones on and turn it up, cause some of it is kind of hard to understand.


That's all folks.
♥sloane

picture day nazis.

Today was the second day of school. And picture day. I know, that combination of events seems like a sin, and trust me, it pretty much was.

Mr. Qualheim decided to be a super genius this year and get rid of Real Life photography, who had been doing a beautiful job for the last 1 million years. He brought in Dorian Studio, against the advice of every single school official. They print out your ASB card on the spot, so apparently he thought that was a really great idea.

So you know how everyone likes to screw up their Junior photos, because it's basically their last chance to express their retardation in a yearbook. However, this year Hitler himself came and placed himself in the middle of the action. I'm not entirely sure as to whether Mr. Qualheim gave them specific orders to not let anyone look the way they wanted to in their picture, or if they all just worshiped the devil, but something of that nature was heavy in their minds. People who were wearing fake glasses were forced to remove them. People who were wearing real glasses were forced to remove them because the photographers didn't believe them that they were real glasses. (And I quote, "We know better.") People who had drawn on mustaches were forced to wipe them off and were photographed with highly reddened upper lips. People who had highly realistic fake mustaches on were told to take them off. People who weren't smiling the way they wanted them too were told to "Relax," "tone it down," etc etc. So yeah, Pictures this year are going to be lame and depressingly unhumorous. However, despite Hailey's futile attempts to charade her way into making the photographers think she was just naturally hideous, they did manage to make her laugh and snap a photo exactly as she did it. So at least Hailey will allow a small ray of sunshine to break through the gray clouds above Richland High School in the school year of 2010-2011.

On another note, classes are going surprisingly well this year. Aside from my World Geography class, which will probably have me slitting my wrists by the end of semester. Mrs. Howard is WAY too happy for the end of the day, and it's a room full of inexplicably retarded freshmen. Their is absolutely no limit to their idiocy, and it's really... enraging, to say the least.


ANYWAY, more news on school life later.~

♥Sloane

haircut!

So I finally got my haircut, two days before school starts.

I didn't do a whole lot to it besides getting bangs. Which I suppose is kind of a dramatic change, seeing as I haven't had (straight across) bangs since middle school. (At least not successful ones.)

So here's a brief of that experience.
I went to Hairmaster's, due to repeatedly being horrified with the results of going to the place by Win-Co, which I still don't even know the name of after going there for 4 years. I sat around looking through books of hair seeing if I could find any references of what I wanted. No luck, unfortunately.
I got stuck in a chair and listened to two hair stylists and a client talk about babies and Jersey Shore.

About half an hour later (most of that time being spent straightening my hair. It's ridiculous how long it takes now that it's grown out so much.) I had my hair cut and it looked good. Then she was like "Your hair is flat, should I add a little volume, or do you like it that way?" I said no, it's a constant battle trying to get my hair to not lay flat to my head. So she used the flat iron to give me some volume. Then she started back combing and I was like WHAT THE FUCK. She gave me a giant poof monster on my head and I was embarrassed by the hideousness of it. Those things look bad enough on other people, it was terrible on me. I think she was concentrated too much on Jersey Shore and decided whorish Italian girl would be a good look for me, too. So the second we were out of her sight, I ran my fingers through my hair a thousand times to flatten it. However, all in all it was a good experience and I got the haircut I was hoping for. And my bangs are versatile!

So yes. There you have it. I am a changed woman.
Okay, not really. But I have bangs.


♥sloane

Here it goes again.

tsaturday
august 28th, 2010

School is starting on Tuesday. I'm both anxious and hesitant to see what the new year will bring. I'm really excited to be with my friends again because I'm having this sudden realization of how much I love everyone as of the last few days. But I'm also sad because I know that two of my best friends won't be there. I'm really looking forward to learning about the exchange student experience from Josie, and the more I hear about it the more I want to do it after senior year. But at the same time, it's going to be really strange without her around. Despite the fact that she infuriates me more often than I would like her to, she's still one of the people I relate to most closely. (Wow, that feels weird to say, because honestly, we don't look like we should have anything in common.) And then, icing on the cake, Maddie has moved away permanently now and that really sucks for me. Aside from Alisha, Maddie was probably the second person I saw the most of besides my family.

But like I was saying, I was reading our notebook from last year and I was like like "What the fuck, I love these people." And really, I mean that, too. Though I'm sure it probably doesn't seem like I really care about all of you that much. I have a really difficult time displaying affection properly. I don't know what it is or why, but I've always been that way. Normal teenage girls can be like "I love you" "I love you too!" and I can't. I feel really awkward about saying "I love you" to anyone that isn't my mom or dad. This includes my sister, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, my closest friends and the boyfriend that I "loved." (Oh middle school.) But to all of you friends that feel neglected my my cold outer shell, I do care about you and I'm going to miss the two of you who are leaving RHS this year.


So yeah. School is kind of intimidating this year. I have a smaller protection ring of friends to shut out everyone that I don't want to talk to, I really have to put my all into it this year because I need to get into Portland University, and it's going to be another year of classes that I don't have with anyone I know. I'm also not sure that I trust myself to keep myself in line and do all my work and study and get good grades, because despite any determination that I hold right now, I know myself too well to put a whole lot of faith in that. I crap out on myself after a semester of good work. So cross your fingers for me, guys.

In other news, I get to go see Blue October live in Bellingham this September! It's really exciting, I've never been to a concert before. My mom bought tickets as an early birthday present for me. It's going to be her, my godmother and I. And it's going to be a blast. I'll make sure to take lots of pictures. (and post them here, of course. 8D)

Anyway, I'm going to make a website for the Ace Gang now.


♥ sloane

listen to your backbone, boy and run like hell.

sunday
august 22nd, 2010

song on the brain - backbone by the rumble strips


A decent bundle of things happened in the last couple of days.
On the 17th, I went to Josie's going away party. We sat around and watched Youtube and talked for a good 6 hours. It was a good way to spend some of our last hours with Josie until next year.
On the 19th, Alisha and I biked over to the school and picked up our schedules.  We saw Ivie, Hailey and Kelli, as well as Garrett who pulled us aside for a while and didn't particularly like the idea of us leaving. I found out that I have basically no classes with anybody (except for zero hour which I have with both Hailey and Cayla) and I'm the only one that has 1st lunch. So I'm going to go in on the 26th to see about fixing that.
 However, for the time being, this is my schedule.

First Semester
Algebra 2 - Baird
Ceramics - McMinn
Psychology - Westerfeild
French 4 - Koller
Anatomy - Staley
American Lit - Hatcher
World Geography - Howard

Second Semester
Algebra 2 - Baird
20th Century History - Smith (WOOHOOO)
Powerwalking - Olson
French 4 - Koller
Anatomy - Staley
American Lit - Hatcher
Consumer Ec - Parkinson-Schirm

I'm going to switch Anatomy and AP Lit around if I can. So we'll see.


Anyway, at 11:30ish that night I was laying on Alisha's floor with Bella and I said to Alisha "She's having some hardcore contractions." I'm not entirely sure that Alisha even believed me, or thought I knew what I was talking about. But about 10 minutes later I was like "Alisha, I think your dog is giving birth right now." So Alisha freaked out and got her Grandma. Bella was running around yelping with a puppy's head sticking out of her vagina and the puppy was also yelping. Alisha's grandma took Bella outside and helped pull the puppy out and there was like... an explosion of blood on the pavement. We brought the kiddie pool into the kitchen and lead Bella into it to have her clean the puppy up. The puppy got to nurse for a while, then I kept it warm in a heated towel while Bella went out back and gave birth to two more puppies at the same time in the grass. Those two were rushed in out of the cold and cleaned off. Bella laid in the tub with her puppies, licking them excessively and Amy was called to come over. Bella gave birth to the rest of the puppies in the pool. 2 boys, both black and 6 girls, 3 black, 1 black with a white chest and and 2 brown. They are ADORABLE. So those puppies will probably live in the kiddie pool in the middle of the kitchen for a while.
We were up till about 4 AM with those puppies and I was awake again at 8:00 because Bella wanted attention. So I was functioning on approximately 4 hours of sleep.

That night around 6:30, we biked over to my house with my sister so I could change and put my hair up. Then we headed off for Movies in the Park. However, going doing the hill on Swift, I hit a very small curb way too fast and the chain unhooked itself from the gears. So I was lucky that there was a grassy strip along the sidewalk for me to ride down around Kate and Alisha while I waited for my bike to slow to a stop. It took a good 15 minutes before we figured out how to hook the chain back on and we biked the rest of the way to the park with very grubby hands. We sat around on some benches for probably 20 minutes before Kellli and Josie showed up and then we wheeled our bikes over to them and settled in on a blanket. We got up to go buy smoothies when Tori and some guy got up and tried to sing Tonight's Gonna be a Good Night (or whatever it's called) by the Black Eyed Peas. I ordered a smoothie, and the lady gave me a milkshake. Then I bought popcorn back at the park and it was nasty, so I gave it to Kate and Alisha. Then eventually the movie started up and I didn't understand anything that was being said. I was also being used as a pillow and I was ridiculously uncomfortable.
Saying goodbye at the end was sad. And at the same time, it was hard to believe that we weren't going to see Josie for a year. It seemed like a normal goodbye and we were going to see eachother in a week. So I think the true realization that she's going to be gone for a year will set in soon enough. We'll miss you, Josie. D:

So Alisha, Kate and I went home and played Guitar Hero II for a while before going to bed. The next day we didn't really do anything. Alisha went home in the afternoon and Kate and Dad and Cindy and I all went to Red Robin for Kate's (belated) birthday dinner.  Kate and I got bottomless rootbeer floats, which was a huge mistake, seeing as I was only able to eat 4 bites of my burger. So I have lunch for today, I suppose. XD
After that, we went and got movies. We watched Best in Show last night, but everyone was too tired to watch Office Space. So we went to bed and I fell asleep listening to The Rumble Strips.

And there's nothing to say about this morning, so I'm done.

♥ sloane

woop woop.

monday
august 16th, 2010

song on the brain: all the pretty faces - the killers.



Ahhh, my first blog post. This blog is created in honor of my dear friend, Josie, as a way to keep her updated on life back at RHS while she is away in France for the year. Also, it keeps my dA rants to a minimum.  Of course, she hasn't left yet, so this is just getting my blog up and running. In the futureI intend to post pictures and videos and all sorts of things as a sort of documentation of what she'll be missing. As well as using this as a way to let off steam, excitement, etc. etc.


my day isn't really over yet, but I suppose I'll just blog what I've got.
I spent the morning and afternoon sitting on Alisha's couch watching nickelodeon and then I biked home. the end. And around 6:30 I'll be going to dinner with my grandparents and then mowing the lawn.

That's all for today.


♥ sloane